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Stop. Let me explain.

This sounds like a healthy pizza. It might be–I’m trying to ignore that. The important thing is that they used to sell it at a restaurant in Calgary, Alberta, and they don’t anymore. This delicious pizza will be lost to the world forever unless people like you, people who care, cherish it in your hearts. Or, like, make it and eat it. If nothing else, it will make your carrots happy.

I’ve gotta keep it brief today so here are my words on this pizza:

  1. Crust: In my opinion, really remarkable homemade pizza crust is rare because it requires good ingredients and/or leaving your dough alone for too damn long. I can’t be bothered. Honestly, I usually just do a ratio of 1 tsp yeast to 1 c flour with 1 scant tsp salt, and however much warm water it takes to get it working. I roll it fairly thin and grease my pan a lot. It does the job. But, I linked you a nicer recipe anyway.
  2. Sauce: You can use any peanut sauce, but the peanut sauce I linked for this is so great and so easy–you just stir it together. I wanted to do a whole You Oughta Know about it and give it and Vegan Yum Yum the lauding they deserve, but I can’t. This sauce is tops, though. (Oh, and I replace the chili oil with chili garlic paste.)
  3. Tofu: This recipe officially calls for Sunrise Soyganic smoked tofu. But, it appears to be a Canadian exclusive, WHICH KILLS ME INSIDE. Do what you can to find another, lesser smoked tofu. I’ve found most baked tofu isn’t a great substitute.
  4. It’s possible you’re going to read these ingredients and be like “…what?” Please just trust me and try this pizza. It is so good.

Peanut Sauce and Carrot Pizza

  • Crust (medium, about 14″)
  • 6-8 large carrots (or 4-6 c), grated on the smaller of the two usual sizes and squeezed to get out much, but not all, of the juice
  • 3 green onions, sliced
  • 1/3-1/2 block smoked tofu, crumbled finely
  • diced fake cheese (about 1/3 block Vegan Gourmet mozzarella is my preference)
  • Peanut Sauce

Make pizza crust, put it on its pan, and cover it with peanut sauce.

Mix shredded carrots, green onions, and smoked tofu. Sprinkle it over the pizza. It should be pretty thick–like 1.5 or more inches of delicious carroty goodness. Sprinkle the cheese over the top. It’s not supposed to fully cover it, just be tasty little morsels here and there. Bake it at the highest setting your oven can manage. This is the best way to bake pizza (some people even bake it on the clean setting). It’s done cooking when the crust is done and the cheese and carrots are browned on top. The carrots won’t be cooked all the way through, but the cheese should be melted. If the carrots and cheese don’t finish at the same time as the crust, put the pizza under the broiler to finish them. If you oiled the top of your crust, don’t put it too close to the broiler, or you will light that pizza on fire. Seriously.

Alright! It’s Friday! Go forth and eat pizza!