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I like good food and I understand that it involves a certain amount of subtlety (which I as a person entirely lack). So, on a conceptual level, I get that some things require 20+ ingredients at 1/4 tsp each. But I just… I cannot make those recipes. I will caramelize onions until the heat death of the universe, but I cannot deal with measuring a bunch of shit out. For reasons I don’t understand, it’s just too hard for me, and I have one rule about food: its goodness must be greater than its hardness to make. Even if that hardness is a result of character failings. 

For this reason, during a period in my life where I was waking up at 6:00 in the morning and parking myself in front of Canadian Food Network, I discovered a six ingredient recipe that I immediately, unquestioningly adopted on principle. It’s Ricardo‘s pureed cauliflower soup and it tastes like cheddar heaven.

Cauliflower Soup

  • 1 head cauliflower (cut into largish florets)
  • 1 c leek (one medium leek)
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 1 potato (peeled)
  • 2 Macintosh apples (peeled)
  • 6 c faux chicken broth

Clean the leek thoroughly and saute it. Add and cook the garlic. Add everything else and bring it to a boil. Turn it down to simmer until everything is cooked through. Puree it, preferably with an immersion blender. If you put too much hot soup in a blender, it will heat up the air inside, causing it to expand and explode off the top. At this point you will be covered in scorching soup puree, and all your roommates will be simultaneously embarrassed by and annoyed with you.

Note: I deeply suspect that adding 1/2 c dry white wine and a couple tbsp nooch would make this amazing soup amazinger, and contribute to it’s phenomenal cheese flavor. I also sometimes roast broccoli with salt, pepper, and olive oil and add that at the end after it’s been pureed. I mean, when it comes to brassicas, go hard or go home, am I right?

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