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Last year my lousy brother/best friend stepped on my reading glasses, and I’ve been gluing them together unsuccessfully ever since. This generally means that I don’t get to use them and have to play creepy bat on the computer. So when the boyf requested vegan chicken and dumplings, and I found this recipe, I followed it. But I also misread it, like, multiple times.

The good news is that I misread it in acceptable ways. I saw “5 whole cloves” and put in five whole cloves of garlic, four more than were actually called for. I also saw one cup of wine, not one half (ah, my wishful eyes), missed the fake chicken strips entirely, and somehow convinced myself that this was a pureed soup. That’s pretty much when I called it a night.

Paired with the modifications I made deliberately, I ended up with something a bit different from Tofu Mom‘s recipe, but still owing a lot to it. And I’m glad I at least attempted her recipe because the end result was astoundingly delicious.

Bastardized Chicken and Dumplings


  • 6 c fake chicken broth
  • 1 c dry white wine
  • 5 whole cloves OF CLOVES
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 5 cloves garlic, chopped
  • a few lazy, large shakes of poultry seasoning
  • a couple potatoes, chopped
  • 3 large carrots, chopped
  • 3 large celerys, chopped
  • margarine

Brown onions, celery, and carrots in margarine. Add garlic. When cooked, add every else and boil until done. Remove cloves and bay leaves and puree the soup with an immersion blender. Remember what I told you about regular blenders. Also remember that time I made soup and someone ate the bay leaves thinking they were part of it.


  • 1 1/2 c flour (half bread flour half whole wheat, because you haven’t been to the store in weeks)
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/4 shortening
  • 3/4 c unsweetened, unflavored non-dairy milk (this is the only kind I use)
  • 1 tbsp cider vinegar

Put dry ingredients together, and vinegar in milk. Smoosh the shortening into the dry ingredients with your hands. You don’t have to worry about temperature like you do with biscuits and pie crust because these are delicious doughy.  Make sure the pureed soup is simmering, but on very low heat. Mix the milk stuff into the flour and drop little spoonfuls of the dough directly into the soup. It will probably take up the entire surface, and also look like it’s going to dissolve and ruin everything, but it won’t. Cover the soup and dumplings, and leave it alone for 15-20 minutes. Don’t worry about stirring the soup. Yes, it will sort of stick to the bottom of the pan a little, but not terribly.

After 15-20 minutes, you’ll look into the pot and the dumplings will have, miraculously, visibly solidified. Turn off the heat and let the soup cool for a bit. It’s going to smell amazing, but it’s been boiling for a minute now and you’ll need those taste buds unscalded in order to enjoy it. You’ll find the dumplings tangy, chewy, and so wonderful smothered in creamy, savory soup. Secretly, I hope your weather gets as crappy as ours has been, just so you have an excuse to try it.